I get distracted far too easily than any human being.
I create stories from the top of my head far too smoothly.
Which makes me have the ability to lie far too often.

bagellie:

benefits of being friends with me

  • shitty jokes whenever you ask for them
  • shitty jokes whenever you don’t ask for them

(via loweryourexpectations)

theofficialariel:

All I have going for me is sarcasm, resting bitch face, huge thighs, and really good eyebrows. 

(via dannythou)

wienersushi:

Great Dane puppy voices his displeasure at being forced to get up early

(Source: videohall, via loweryourexpectations)

1nd2rd3st:

ridge:

do you ever pretend like you didn’t see something so the other person doesn’t feel embarrassed 

750,324 people whose mama taught them right

(via dannythou)

quentintarantinc:

"I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don’t know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip."

American Psycho (2000) dir. Mary Harron

(via smokeandembers)

okaywork:

when someone’s on your nerves but they sensitive af so you cant go off

image

(via dannythou)

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A handpicked medley of inspirations, musings, obsessions and things of general interest.